Emotions in retirement

READ: Are humans rational???

We might like to think that we humans are very rational creatures, but I believe that – generally speaking - emotions rule our lives. Here are two examples.

Do we support a football team or marry our partner because we followed a logical pathway to that decision? I don’t believe so. That would be the methodology used by Mr Spock from Star Trek. So what about your emotions as a retired or soon-to-retire person?

Let’s look at an example through the lens of WHAT,WHY and HOW.

  What emotion?

I will pick on the emotion of “feeling neglected”. I think its meaning is obvious enough not to need elaboration. Let’s follow on from here.

  Why is the emotion there?

I say that, for the most part, there will be an unmet need that has caused this emotion of neglect to appear with force inside you. As an example, neglect may stem from a need to:

·      Be respected

·      Be understood for who you really are

·      Connect with friends

·      Have intimacy

 It could be any of these, or a combination, or something else. What is the next step?

  How to deal with the emotion?

Once you have located that need, your need, then you can ponder how to get it met. One way is extremely practical, for example to add something to your life: say an activity or a hobby that is relevant to that need. In the case of neglect, joining a club or a class might be the solution for you.

 You can do all this work by yourself. Good luck. 

 Another approach is to use a retirement coach. Try it. What have you got to lose?

 Retirement: You won’t know what it is like until you get there.