Retirement, sea change and regret

Imagine two neighbours Paul and Paula, both aged 60, and both on the point of retirement. Paul and his wife Dianne decide that it’s time to move out of the city. Paula and her husband Mike stay in the city. Paul and Paula meet for coffee one year later. Here is a part of their conversation.

Paul: Hey Paula, I am not enjoying life away from the buzz of the city and my network of friends and relatives. Truth is, I’m pretty bored.

Paula: Hey Paul, we feel the opposite. City life is strangling us. Maybe it’s too late to move.

Listening to these expressed regrets shows us different emotions at work. Paul is blaming himself for the choice he made, while Paula is envious of the choice that Paul has made i.e. the choice she didn’t make. 

In addition, we don’t know to what extent these two friends feel that they had control over their decisions, or were hostage to Mike’s and Dianne’s wishes.

Of course regret affects everyone differently according to its:

1.   Intensity

2.   Frequency

3.   Duration

However the regret in our example is not all bad:

1.   Paul and Paula can reflect on their experiences and learn from them.

2.   There will be silver linings to the choices they made/didn’t make.

Retirement is a time to make choices, because you can. Choices can bring regret. Fact. But experiencing and learning from regret can be beneficial.

Retirement: You won’t know what it is like until you get there.